trYna b hapPY

people see me as funny, humorous, sometime maybe ridiculous, cheerful an maybe more..
but, am i so?
i do what people want more than what i want actually.
i m willing to compromise, not to calculative,
not to selfish that much,
as every1 is sure selfish, only differ in the level of selfishness.
for friends, for someone deserve,
i m willing to hide mine, do what u want,
being thoughtful and so.
however, i get nothing other than disappointed, fed up, sadness at the end.
why someone so good in comment people, so good in thinking,
but never come to practice?
not necessary to make yourself such holy, such pride, such honour, such...
as, you are actually just hurting someone loves you, someone cares you,
u care nobody other than yourself.
u tend to build up your happy by suffering others..
u never never never realize how much of sadness u left to people around.
you live in your own world, you want everyone follow your rules.
you want other sacrifice for your,
keep burning themselves to bring u up.
just because of you, people around keep bleeding.
because i treat you as a good friend,
i compromise, i bear , i quiet, and finally u leave me speechless.
im just tryna b happy, i don't want to lose anyone..
im just tryna b happy, but can i?
or should i ask, can you?

communication

is it a scheme answer will be set off in advance before we ask some one a question?
if so, then why we question?
we have expected a model answer, how high is the probability for getting the same answer as we expected from the one we questioned?
assumption seem likely to be made, rather than communication.
if you don't open your mouth and tell people what is in your mind,
nobody knows for sure! nobody can read others' mind.
don't torture people around for keep guessing what u meant and so.
god gave us mouth and ability to talk, then we talk.
mostly problem can be solved through communication.
but, only wise conversation will do.
silliness will turn things down and screw up everything for sure.
fighting, yelling, complaining, anger and ..... aren't the right conversation to be.
under any of the mentioned circumstance, the situation will be guaranteed getting worse and worse.
please talk, please tell, please speak up.
don't ever expect there should be some one who must know you well.

changes

People and things change as time goes by.
Somethings you were into so much,
might become somethings that irritate you so much now.
the term 'promise' is pasT tense, whereas 'nonsense' has become the present tense.
what you have promised, what you had told, what you had said were sweet,
yet there will be a day turning them into the ugly truth.
you aren't dare to make promise as u afraid of u cant make it,
but before you make those promises, don't you know what is your ability?
don't you know where is your limitation?
don't you know whether what u said is something realistic?
isn't future is something u build up little by little from now on?
you are not confident, you are afraid of, but, who isn't the same?
nobody wants to be hurt, nobody wants to be disappointed, no one wants to cry like a child..
i always believe that things are two-ways, nothing can be if lacking of that synergistic partner(s).
before demanding or requesting, shouldn't we ask ourselves whether we deserve the right?
what will be if everyone wants people fit into themselves but never think of fit into others?
though u can change yourself, though he or she can change for you, but how long they last? there will b a day, they realize you aren't deserve for their change, as u never change, u r just looking for complimentary from others, but never you yourself.
how irony and ridiculous..
i wish there will be some one deserves for my change, and it's worth.
instead of counting how long we can be,
i rather counting on how happy n how enjoy we can be..
nothing lasts, but at least you seen, you experienced, and you tasted.